From reddit, an email from someone who doesn't want to be a bridesmaid:
[fiancee],
I'm sorry this is coming to you in email form but I need to get my thoughts to you clearly and this is the best way for me to do it. Please read what I have to say and after you've had time to think, we can talk about it in person if you want.
When you first asked me to be a part of the wedding, my gut reaction was to say no and I should have listened to myself. I feel very strongly that you shouldn't marry [me] and these feelings are only intensifying as the wedding approaches. [fiancee], in good conscience, I cannot be a part of your wedding - I feel I would be doing both of us a disservice by standing up for you and bringing my negative energy to your wedding day.
I know this is shocking for you, but again, in my heart, I cannot do this. These feelings are also affecting me in a very negative way, the full extent of which didn't become clear to me until I had a healing session with [new age spiritual healer] yesterday. I couldn't dodge the feeling that I needed to see her yet I wasn't clear why I felt I had to. In the end, I was left with two choices - either go through with participating in the wedding with a change in attitude or bow out as gracefully as possible. I meditated on it and called upon my power animals for guidance and ultimately bowing out is the decision I have reached. I understand the consequences of my actions but I am at peace with my decision. Please know I am in no way attempting to cut of ties with you, although I understand that may be the end result of all of this.
It might be hard to understand but I mean you no harm - I do believe in 'no harm to none'. However, I keep going back to what [so-called yoga 'master'] was talking about during one of our sessions - that by saying yes to someone else when you want to say no, you are only harming yourself. Participating in this wedding is harming me in many ways and this didn't become truly clear to me until I had the session with [new age spiritual healer].
I am not asking for your forgiveness or understanding - again, I understand the full consequences of my decision. I still wish you the best for everything in your life - you have a good, kind soul, [fiancee] and it is hurting me to see you go through with this marriage.
As I said above, we can talk in person if you want. However, I know that I will not change my mind about this. If you don't want to talk, I understand and accept whatever decision you make.
-[bridesmaid]
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